


Healing Through Nightmares

by DragonFireWitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-12 12:49:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12959556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonFireWitch/pseuds/DragonFireWitch
Summary: Post War, Draco is forced to see a Healer as part of his sentence for his affiliation in the war. Crossing paths with Hermione Granger during a time in need may end up leading to more than what their school days left them to be before returning to take their N.E.W.T.s. This is Draco's perspective of Healing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a Dramoine, but I’m carrying off from the end of the war so she’s still currently with Ron. Rated M for upcoming chapters. This isn’t BETA’d. 
> 
> This is also from the view of Draco, instead of Hermione as my story Healing is from. It will be considered a stand alone, but for those who are reading Healing, I hope you get equal satisfaction from this perspective. 
> 
> *Disclaimer* I don’t own any of the Harry Potter characters or her work.

The days following the war were dark for those who had followed the Dark Lord. Many of the Death Eaters had been filed off to Azkaban, but the Malfoy’s hadn’t. Lucius knew he was most likely facing a life sentence for his actions before they defected and was detained in Azkaban until his hearing. He gave the Ministry all the information he had to protect his son and wife from a future he dreaded would be his reality. Draco was questioned and was cleared of all charges due to most of his crimes being committed while underage as well as a convincing letter from Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. The Wizengamot also concluded he was to see a Healer every week. Should he not attend for reasons not prearranged, he was to return and plead himself innocent to the Wizengamot. He and his mother were under house arrest as part of their sentence. His sentence was only for the summer, but Narcissa’s was a five-year sentence for harboring the Dark Lord in their home. The only exceptions to the house arrest were to go to his appointments, and to his godfather’s funeral.  

 

Draco looked in the mirror fixing his steel grey tie. Today he will say goodbye to the one man who saved him. The one who killed Dumbledore when he could not. The one who successfully played both sides until his death. The one who kept him alive when there wasn’t an ounce of hope. A tear escaped his eye, and he quickly wiped it away. He is a Malfoy. Malfoy’s don’t cry. Malfoy’s are strong. He needed to be strong for his mother. Draco knew the connection his mother and Snape had. A bond like brother and sister, closer she was to him than her own sisters. 

 

Opening the door after a faint knock,  Draco and Narcissa left with their two Auror escorts to go to Godric's Hollow where Snape was to be buried.  There weren’t many people in attendance. Himself, his mum, Greg Goyle, a fair few other Slytherin students, Professor McGonagall, the minister and of course the Golden Trio. He started to wonder why they’d be there as Kingsley Shacklebolt started giving the Eulogy, followed by a short speech from Potter. 

 

_ Today I stand here in regret. For many years I believed Professor Snape was a villain. He was not. He was so much more. He was a protector, a mentor, and a friend. He was friends with my mother for many years and protected me as best he could against harm during my time at Hogwarts with giving himself away, not that I made it easy for him. He protected those he cared for deeply, going as far as unbreakable vows. He passed his final thoughts on to me to prove his innocence. In these memories I found closure. The years of hatred I had for him was ill placed. I truly regret not being able to get to know him better. He will never be forgotten for the sacrifices he made and the help in the defeat against Voldemort.  _

 

Potter flashed Draco a look of sorrow before taking his seat. Draco glanced over at his mother, watching her silent tears fall from her eyes as they buried his godfather. 

* * *

 

 

Narcissa encouraged Draco to return to school and complete his N.E.W.T.’s by sending a letter to Shacklebolt stating it may give him a chance to lead a normal future life. Shacklebolt had agreed with the exception he was to take Defense Against the Dark Arts. He had awarded those that had played a part of the winning side with an automatic Outstanding. Draco was already dreading that class. He listened to his mother explain all the benefits of him attending Hogwarts and the opportunities that would present themselves. It was almost a relief when the Auror came to take him to his first healer appointment. 

 

* * *

 

 

Arriving at St. Mungo's, the Auror escorted him up to the fifth floor. Looking around Draco noticed it had recently been remodeled, assuming it was to add this new type of healing. The Auror had told him this specific healer was what muggles called a therapist. Someone who would talk about his problems and help him move forward.  _ Not bloody likely _ , he thought. 

 

A petite witch about mid-thirties, with golden brown hair and bright blue eyes, came out of her office. Smiling at him, Draco stood a bit straighter and extended his hand as she had. He then followed her into her office, looking around. It was a large room, though the lights were dimmed. There was also an unlit fireplace. The office reminded him of the dungeons at Hogwarts. He looked at the nameplate on the top of her desk; Estella Macorm, Ph.D. She pointed to the seat across her desk. He sat.    
  
“Hello Mr. Malfoy. I hope the atmosphere of this room makes you comfortable. We will be here more or less weekly, and the room itself will alter its decor according to the person I am meeting with as it is charmed to make you more comfortable. I understand you are here because the Wizengamot has forced you into weekly meetings with me. I will tell you now Mr. Malfoy, that I intend to help you. I also expect that you will not just sit there and stare, that you will take part. I expect you to talk to me, or I will report back that you have not and you will be sent to Azkaban. Have I made myself very clear?” Estella spoke firmly. 

 

“Crystal.” Draco sarcastically said rolling his eyes.   
  
“Glad we have an understanding. Now, if you’ll kindly move to the more comfortable chairs, we can start today by getting to know each other a little bit.” Estella motioned her hand to the chairs behind them as she stood and walked over to the high back chair, grabbing a quill and parchment. “My name is Estella, I’m what is known as a therapist in the Muggle world, where I studied psychology. I am a pure-blood, such as yourself. My favorite color is purple. I’m married to a half-blood and we’ve no children. Now tell me a bit about yourself.”    
  
Huffing, Draco rolled his eyes sitting on a long soda. “You already know my name, you already know my blood status, you already know I’m not married. My favorite color is green.” 

 

“Right, I asked to get to know you, not for you to confirm what I already knew. Try again.” Estella said calmly. 

 

Looking at her, he realized she was a no-nonsense type of woman. Much like his mother. He didn’t know what to say. After thinking a few minutes, “I enjoy going to France, though I haven’t been since I was a kid. I’ve been playing Quidditch since I was four, and I find the aspect of this psychology thing you speak of, fake. I don’t believe you can help me.” 

 

Smiling Estella wrote on her papers. “Good. Now, tell me, what was life as a child like in the Manor? You played Quidditch, can I assume you played in your backyard with some friends?” 

 

He could handle talking about Quidditch. He talked about all the times he played with his friends. Life as a child was easy. The elves pretty much raised him. His mother and father were constantly increasing their status after the first fall of the Dark Lord, rising higher and higher to the top. They spent meals together and his parents constantly bought him new things to make sure he always had the best. His childhood life was, for him, amazing. Better than most. His first friends were Theo, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle. They’d practice playing Quidditch in his backyard from sunup to sundown. Theo always played the Keeper, Crabbe and Goyle switched between playing Beaters and Chasers. Blaise and himself always switched between playing a Chaser and Seeker.    
  
A full hour had passed when Draco bid farewell to Estella. This would be easier than he thought. Though, going to sleep that night proved otherwise. He woke in sheer panic and sweat, having had a nightmare Crabbe’s death. He grabbed a dreamless sleep potion and fell back to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

The next few meetings with Estella got steadily worse. She forbid him to take the dreamless sleep potion as he had become addicted to it. She had contacted all the local apothecaries to inform them he was not allowed to purchase the potion or ingredients at any cost or they will face trial in front of the Wizengamot. 

 

“Mr. Malfoy, I think we need to meet twice this week as our session today will be much shorter due to your lack of punctuality,” Estella said as she looked over her calendar. “Ah, yes, three days from today at two should do it. I expect you to arrive in a timely manner.” 

  
“Maybe I would be here on time if you’d allow me to take a potion so I could sleep without waking up from these nightmares, you evil witch.” 

  
Sighing, Estella rubbed her temples. “You are by far my most stubborn client. It would do some good for you to be a bit nicer to people Mr. Malfoy, then perhaps, you’d get what you wanted. Until then, you also need to face your nightmares. Now, you’ve told me about the one with Crabbe, are there others you’ve been experiencing as of late?” 

  
“Of course! Bloody hell woman! I can’t wait to go to Hogwarts and get away from you.” 

 

“Ah, you think you might, but I will be coming to Hogwarts to help you further. I will see other students of course, but the Wizengamot wants to make sure you are my number one client, which means, where you go. I go. Including Hogwarts.”    
  
“Maybe I won’t go then. I don’t need you breathing down my back.” He said with a sneer.   
  
“You’ve already told me your mother isn’t giving you a choice in this, and I wholeheartedly agree. I think you need to return to school and-” A knock on the door cut her off her sentence. “With a patient. Please have a seat in the tearoom and I’ll be with you shortly.” She announced before she lowered her voice and continued. “Maybe consider donating to a charity. Be nicer to folks so they’ll be willing to accept you’ve made some changes after the whole Death Eater thing. It might help improve your image before you go back. People are going to associate you as a Death Eater and it’s easier to overlook if they can see you’re making changes.” 

 

Scowling at her, he just wanted to leave. Glancing at the clock he knew he still had another half an hour. Leaning back into his chair, ignoring what she just said, he answered her earlier question. “I have many nightmares. From Crabbe to the mudblood, to things I witnessed being under the Dark Lord.”    
  
“What muggle-born is that?”    
  
“Granger.” He closed his eyes, trying to get the image of her from his nightmare out of his head.   
  
“Well, by the look on your face, it seems we’ve found a new topic. Tell me about it.” 

 

Covering his eyes, Draco rubbed them hard, to the point they were burning. He recalled her coming to his house and trying to avoid giving their identities away. Living with the Dark Lord only gave him hope that Potter would win. To see them there at his house made him lose hope. That he’d be stuck in the Dark Lords nightmare forever. Avoiding eye contact with Estella as he spoke in detail of the day she came to Malfoy Manor. He described Granger’s screams, watching her blood trickle to the ground as she cried while Bellatrix carved her arm with a wicked look of pleasure. He saw her blood, red, like his own. That she wasn’t different than he. 

 

“Sounds like everything you believed in was falling apart.”    
  
Nodding, Draco continued his story. “I remember being frozen, trying to think how I’d be able to free her from my Aunt. When I knew it wasn’t possible, I was trying to figure out how I could at least save Potter so he could save the world. I knew I’d die, but I would have rather died than live in a world with the Dark Lord as the leader. All for the greater good, right?” 

 

“Indeed. Time is up I’m afraid. I think we should continue from here when I see you again in three days.” She spoke softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Please remember my advice and consider different charities you could donate to, as well as your mannerisms.”

 

He stood and walked to the door, opening it, coming face to face with the last person he wanted to see. Hermione Granger. He wanted to run and get out of there as fast as possible. “Move.” He said in a cold tone. 

 

“Now Mr. Malfoy what have we been talking about?” Estella scolded him.    
  
“Move. Please.” Draco managed to say through gritted teeth.    
  
“Excuse me.” Granger apologized as she sidestepped.

 

Draco pushed through her bumping her shoulder running as fast as he could to get out of there. He was in no way ready to see her yet. That night his nightmares were worse and more vivid as he dreamt about Hermione being tortured on his drawing room floor. He knew he’d get little sleep over the next few days. He paced the floors trying to get her out of his head. She looked shocked when she saw him. Shocked, but not scared. Should she have been scared? As Draco continued his pacing, the sun peeked in through his window. Watching it, he knew it was going to be a long three days with nothing to keep him occupied, but his thoughts. Thoughts of her.

* * *

 

 

Knocking on Estella’s door with a few minutes to spare, he was told to wait in the tea room. The Aurors decided he couldn’t get into much trouble and left to the first floor as they always did to wait for him. Making himself some black tea, he waited rather impatiently. This must be her revenge for him showing up late the other day. As he finished he tea, he set on the table as someone entered the tearoom. Seeing who it was, he groaned.     
  
“Hello Malfoy.” She said in a rather cheery tone, though he could hear the force behind it.   
  
“Granger.” He sneered. “Seems Estella is late.”    
  
“Oh. You haven’t been to see her yet?”    
  
“Obviously not. Why would I continue sitting in here with you if I had?” Draco spat. 

 

Rolling her eyes, she sat across from him ignoring his retort. “So I hear you’re returning to Hogwarts?”    
  
“Nothing gets past the Gryffindor Princess huh?”    
  
“Just surprised me.”   
  
“It shouldn’t.”    
  
“Well why are you coming back? I’ve decided t-”    
  
He should have known she would be returning. The thought of her constantly being in his presence made him feel sick. He recalled his father’s words every time she bested him and it made his blood boil. Interrupting her, he sneered as he spoke, “Not surprised you’re going back. Always have to be the top. Miss know-it-all. Can’t miss a single marking huh mudblood?” 

 

Growling at him as she sneered back, she said “Trying to have a civil conversation with you is absolutely impossible Malfoy.”     
  
“Well then stop trying. I don’t care to speak with YOUR kind.” He would hit it where it hurts, maybe that would prevent her from coming back. She wouldn’t want to constantly be around him.   
  
“Really? After everything we’ve been through and the war we’ve won, you’re STILL going to act like this Malfoy? Still a foul loathsome evil little cockroach huh? No one to love you? Did mummy not hug you enough as a child?” Granger growled standing in front of Draco. 

 

Standing up with rage, he over-powered her petite frame. How DARE she insult his mother. After what his mother did for Potter he would have assumed she’d show more respect. “Listen here mudblood. You leave my mother out of this. My family is and will always be better than you.”    
  
“Mr. Malfoy if you are done, our session can start,” Estella said calmly from the doorway though there was anger in her voice. 

 

Glaring back at Granger who was standing tall as she glared back, he stormed off and slammed the door behind him. She was the one person that no matter how calm he was, could get under his skin. Always knew which button to press. Returning to Hogwarts suddenly looked a lot less appealing.    
  
Estella wanted to continue where they had left off three days prior but Draco was still angry over the argument. As he ranted, Estella took quick notes.    
  
“There is quite a bit of feelings bottled up for Ms. Granger. Have you considered why she annoys you?”   
  
“Because she’s a mudblood!” He yelled.    
  
“Ah, see I don’t think that’s the answer. I’m sure other muggle-borns can be just as irritating to you. What makes Ms. Granger so special?” When Draco didn’t respond, she went to her desk and pulled out a book. “Mr. Malfoy, I’d like you to write in this journal whenever you feel the need to get something off your chest. It is charmed so no one can read it but those you allow. That includes all thoughts. So for example, if you wanted to write about the nightmare of Ms. Granger and share that with me, you could. But say you also wrote how you are feeling towards her once you’ve figured it out, if you don’t want to share that with me, then it would remain hidden. Understand?”    
  
Draco took the book of blank pages. “Yes I understand.”    
  


Knowing their time was finished he got up to leave. Exiting the room he hadn’t expected to see Granger asleep. Seeing her filled his bubble of anger once more. As he started down the stairs he heard Estella call for her. He decided to turn around to give her a piece of his mind when the door to Estella’s office shut. He would just have to wait it out.  

* * *

 

 

The full hour had passed before Granger opened Estella’s door. Standing on the top step Draco saw her walking towards him not paying attention to her surroundings. He sniggered at her, catching her attention. She had the same irritated look on her face whenever she saw him. 

  
“You’re still here? Nothing better to do Malfoy? I thought you’d be home asking mummy for a hug by now.” Hermione said, the irritation confirmed in the tone of her voice.    
  
The temporary calmness he had gained while waiting for her quickly diminished. The filthy mudblood was always running her mouth. He didn’t know what Estella was on about. He had absolutely no feelings for her except to get her to shut her disrespecting mouth. He moved quickly towards her, not breaking eye contact as he did. He watched her eyes widen in fear, her chest quickly lifting up and down. Granger was scared. He stopped within inches of her face. 

“Estella thought it might help me to do some charity. Help those in need after the war. I immediately thought of you and the Weaslebee’s. If anyone was a perfect charity case it’s you lot.”    
  
Draco hadn’t prepared himself for what would happen next. Just as she had done in third year, she raised her hand and slapped him across the face. Having the reflexes of a seeker, he grabbed her wrist hard without a moment's hesitation. His mind was clouded with anger. He forcefully pushed her into the wall, daring her to speak with his eyes, but she didn’t move. Just glared back at him. He could smell her perfume as he started to sweat.       
  
“Let me go Malfoy.” She said confidently.    
  
“Or what? You going to stick your Weaslbee on me?” He spat.   
  
“I can handle myself perfectly. I don’t need Ron to fight my battles.”    
  
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot the Gryffindor Princess always had to save him because he’s a weak excuse for a Pure-Blood.” 

 

She rolled her eyes but didn’t struggle against him. He felt intoxicated by her perfume. A vanilla, with a hint of something. The smell was driving him mad. Being on house arrest for the last few months, he hadn’t been in close proximity to a female, other than his mother. To be this close to her, to feel her warm breath against his lips, he had to get away. Forcefully pushing himself away from her, he sneered, “Stay out of my sight.” before turning and walking down the stairs.    
  


* * *

  
  
Laying in his bed, he couldn’t get Granger out of his mind. What was the other smell? Vanilla with what? He feared it would drive him to insanity. Getting off his bed he went over to his desk pulling out a parchment and quill. Draco didn’t know why he felt so compelled to write to her.   
  
_ Trying to decide what will benefit more. Destroying the Weaslebee’s home so they can make a new one, or just donating the money to them. Though that would be a lost cause because they wouldn’t know what to do with it.  _

 

Draco didn’t sign it. She would know who it was. If not he hoped it drove her to insanity like he was trying to figure out what her perfume smelled like. Attaching the letter to his owl, he handed it a treat and let the window open to find her. Now he could concentrate on something else. What he hadn’t expected was a response when his owl returned not more than an hour later.    
  
_ How about you focus on something that’s actually helpful, like fixing up the school.   _   
_ H. G.  _

 

There was no way he could help in fixing the school while on house arrest, not that he wanted to, but he was sure the cost was exponential. Opening his night drawer, he took a heavy pouch out, wrapped it tightly in packaging and sent it to Professor McGonagall as an anonymous donation. He wasn’t ready to donate to improve his name, but he would be returning to the school he called home for the last seven years. To ensure it was being properly built meant money. Satisfied, he pulled out the journal Estella gave him and wrote at the top:    
  
_~~Why does Granger get under my skin?~~ _ _   
_ _   
_ ~~__ Why does Granger annoy me? ~~

 

~~_ How does Granger make me feel? _ _ Angry _ ~~

_ What makes Granger so special? _ _   
_ __   
Draco slammed the book shut. This assignment was beyond ridiculous. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to see her again so soon. However, as it was, fate was never on his side. 


	2. Tortured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ AN: As I started writing this I realized that since this is coming from Draco’s POV, the nightmares and flashbacks he’d be dealing with weren’t going to be just things we saw in the films or books as those were from the trio’s POV. So I realize it will be darker than Healing is currently. I’m going to add triggers as I go. This chapter will include implied rape and torture (including Hermione’s). Being a victim myself, I understand the psychological warfare. If you need to PM me about this chapter or any following chapter please do. I will add *** to show it may cause a trigger.
> 
> *Disclaimer* I don’t own any of the Harry Potter characters or her work.

The entire week following his meeting with Estella involved quite a bit of drinking and quite a bit of staring at the book. Draco wasn’t sure how he wanted to answer the question he had written, or if he even wanted to answer it at all. Taking a large swig from the bottle of firewhiskey in his hand, he cursed Granger under his breath.    
  
That witch will be the death of him. How could a person from non-magical parents be as gifted as Hermione Granger? She goes against everything he was ever taught. 

 

He pulled out his journal from the nightstand and opened the first page, staring at the question successfully nagging him. Draco had opened the journal each day in hopes of an answer. Each day it lay without an answer.    
  
_ What makes Granger so special? _   
  
Nothing makes her special, he thought. She only helped defeat the bastard that took away his childhood. She only bested him at everything and proved herself worthy to the entire wizarding world. She was an insufferable know it all. None of that made her special though. Frustrated, he threw the book back in his nightstand.

 

An owl flew in through the window as he sighed. Standing and handing the owl a small handful of treats, he took the parchment.    
  
_ Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy, _

 

_ Enclosed you will find a list of necessary items for the impending new year. _ _   
_ __   
Draco skimmed the list. Maybe this was the perfect thing to get his mind off the journal. He went to see if his annoying Auror babysitters could escort him to Diagon Alley. 

* * *

 

Coming to Diagon Alley may not have been the best idea, though he supposed it would currently be less crowded now as students had just received their letters. Many witches and wizards were still very skeptical of him even though Harry bloody Potter vouched for him himself. He received many glares and even a few stinging jinxes. He didn’t let anyone know it truly got to him though. No. He was a Malfoy. He held his head high and walked on. 

  
Before he left his mother had reminded him to get new robes as he had grown over the last year. He walked past the window of the shop on the way to the door, quickly glancing in to determine how busy it was when he spotted the last person he wanted to see. 

 

Hermione Granger.

 

His cheeks flushed pink as he watched the Weaslette raise her arm to show Granger a dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Closing his eyes as he tried to shake the image of Granger in it, he turned on his heel away from the shop to finish his shopping. He could get new robes another day.    
  
Draco sat at a table at the Leaky Cauldron with the two Aurors. He didn’t care to know their names as they wouldn’t be the same ones tomorrow. Ordering fish and chips and a fire whiskey for himself, he waited for the Aurors to order while he double checked his supplies list. 

  
He’d gotten all of his books, some of which he already had from the year prior, quill, parchment, and a new cauldron. He also had to acquire a new wand as ruddy Potter had his still. This wand, a twelve and a half inch hazel wood with a Dragon heartstring was surprisingly swishy. He didn’t feel the same connection to this wand as he had his own. Draco felt as if he was holding a foreign object. He used it to create check marks next to the items he’d purchased and glanced up when he heard the door open. Carrying small shopping bags were Granger and Weaslette, laughing as they went to the bartender, then quickly up the stairs. Looking around he saw the familiar sea of red hair piling in through the floo.    
  
“When the food gets here eat quickly”, he barked at the Aurors. “I suddenly got the whiff of something most foul.” The Aurors rolled their eyes at him and continued on with their conversation.   
  


Attempting to keep his mind busy, he started skimming through his new defense against the dark arts book.  _ A bit late for that,  _ he thought with a smirk. Something sparkling in the corner of his eye caught his attention.    
  
Granger was walking down the stairs in a low cut black dress. The one he’d seen Weaslette hold up in Madam Malkins. The dress was A-lined with a sparkling spiral design that came just above the knee. The muscles in the back of her long bare legs were contracting as she took each step. Her breasts coming into view as he continued to watch her descend the stairs. Grangers low cut dress showing just enough cleavage to let a man know just how much she had matured since fourth year at the Yule Ball. 

 

Behind her, the redhead wore a low cut V neck that competed with Grangers in sex appeal. Rising higher on the thighs than Grangers did, the neckline went all the way down to her navel with a clasp that barely kept her breasts in. The shamrock green dress complimented the long red hair that was the signature Weasley.    
  
Barely able to take his eyes off of her, Draco shook his head to clear it once the food had arrived, realizing he hadn’t been the only one unable to keep their eyes off the duo. As he figured, the Aurors took their time savoring their meal as though it’d be their last. Just to annoy him of course. They insisted he drink with them before going back to the Manor.    
  
Hours had passed before the two dunderheads he’d arrived with were so drunk, he figured a bit of fresh air would help sober them up a bit before they had to return him home. The fools couldn’t hold their liquor and were pouring their insides into some bushes when he had heard a very drunken Weasley talking to someone he could only presume was Granger.    
  
Watching in disgust, he swallowed the bile rising in his throat as he saw Weaselbee throw himself at her.

 

 _“Mmmf. Ow, Ron, you’re too drunk to stand.”_ Draco heard her say as he saw her tiny hands come up to try to push the man that towered over her away. He felt his anger build as he watched Weaslbee force himself back onto her, listening to her words, _“Ronald, please. You are much too drunk to even hold yourself up.”_   
  
******** Flashes of Death Eaters filled his mind as he pictured innocent witches plead for them not to do take them. The horrors he was forced to watch at sixteen, to show him what it would be like to take a woman without her consent. The laughter that filled his ears. Closing his eyes he heard the angry voices. The sobs. The - _“Miiiiione.”_ He heard Weasley whine, _“You’re drivings me mads. I wants you. I wants yours booody.”_ The screams as a certain mudblood bled all over his floor. _“OWWMMM!”_ ** _****_** Draco’s eyes snapped open, a fire built within them. He swallowed the vomit that threatened him and lunged at Weasley in a moment of blindness as the images of the Death Eaters faded away, ripping him away from Granger so hard the man stumbled to the ground.  
  
Coming to his senses, he realized what he had done and composed himself quickly. Looking down at the man he sneered, “Do you mind Weasel? Some of us have just had a bite to eat and I’m afraid I might blow chunks watching you kiss. Nevermind the fact you’re kissing a mudblood.”   
  


“Donut. Don not. You can’t say that.” The drunken fool said stumbling to get up and pointed his wand at Draco.  “Stupidfy” A jet of red light came out and fizzled.   
  
Draco couldn’t contain the laughter after Weasley’s attempt to hex him over and over again. He felt pity for Granger as she tried to control the oaf by pulling his hand down.   
  
“Hermione, you alright?” He heard Potter ask, sobering him up.    
  
Before she could defend Weasley he spoke, “Weaslebee here can’t hold his own damn liquor. Figures. Another poor excuse for a Pure-blood. Can’t even cast a spell when he’s had a bit to drink. I’m bored of this.” Rolling his eyes. Before this became a bigger fight and he’d go back to being unable to leave the Manor, he apparated to his bedroom without another thought.   
  
He’d hear about his trip tomorrow, but for now, he was going to take a long hot shower and hope desperately the nightmares wouldn’t come.    
  
****** This scene is a nightmare that implies rape but also goes deeper into Draco’s thought process. If you pm me I can edit out the implied rape. Look for the asterisk below to know when it is safe to continue.******   
  
_ “You see Draco, my boy,” The Dark Lord said as he grabbed his shoulder, “this is what they are. Skum. Worthless. Nothing. Vile creatures who bow down to us.”  _ _   
_ _   
_ __ Draco shuddered, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the man’s touch, the screams ringing in his ears, or the laughter that followed. He didn’t enjoy being a Death Eater. He didn’t want to be here. He longed to be curled in his bed as his mother read him another story from The Tales of Beedle the Bard. He longed to have an invisible cloak to hide under. To rid himself of watching this torture. He’s but a boy. Barely a man. 

 

_ The screaming finally stopped. His eyes focused as he gazed upon the naked being before him. He wanted to cover her up and give her some of her dignity back. He couldn’t look into her eyes. He was disgusted with himself he could do nothing to stop this.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Come son, your father would be proud.” He doubted that. If there was one thing his father never involved himself in, it was disgusting behavior such as this. For all his faults, Lucius Malfoy loved his mother. He just prayed he could play his cards out long enough to keep his mother alive. He’d never be able to get that image from head.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Shaking his head he stared into the blank eyes of the Dark Lord, forcing a smirk. “Yes my Lord. He sure would be.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Soon my son. You will have your turn. You can have any woman you want.”  _ **_*_ ** **_*******_ ** **_  
_ ** _   
_ _ Nodding while the bile rose, the swallowed it down, laughing evilly to please the Dark Lord, while walking away, trying to refrain from looking back. To look back showed weakness. Something the Dark Lord punished for.  _ _   
_ __   
Draco awoke and rubbed his eyes hard. He glanced at his nightstand and pulled out his journal. Looking at the taunting question, he huffed and flipped the page. He then wrote about his dream. Every single detail, every single feeling. Estella told him writing it down would help the nightmares stop. He wrote of his trip to Diagon Alley, that caused his nightmare. Maybe Estella would need that information to help him.    
  


After writing and writing some more, he got out of bed stretching his sore muscles and walked over to his desk to write a letter to Estella seeing if she’d be able to move his appointment to later in the day. He knew he’d need a lay-in after this.    


* * *

Draco walked in and left the Aurors that had escorted him downstairs while he walked the five flights of stairs to Estella’s office. If he was lucky, he’d just miss Granger. Rounding the corner to her office he suddenly felt a large mass against him momentarily. Closing his eyes he braced himself to see the only person he expected.    
  
“Oh, sorr-” He heard her start while he opened his eyes. “Hello, Malfoy. Estella is in her office.” Granger said.   
  
“No late night rendezvous to keep you from your appointment then huh Granger?”, he mocked, irritated she was still here.

 

“Ah, no. Thank you for that.” She said looking sincere, though images passed through his mind as to why he had done it in the first place.    
  
“I didn’t do it for you. The mere sight of Weaslebee having his hands on you was enough to make me want to lose my dinner. I shall hope I never have to witness that again for fear of my eyes burning.” he sneered.

 

He watched as she stood a little taller and the pink in her cheeks fade as she yelled, “You know Malfoy! You’d be bloody lucky to land a girl like me. I’m intelligent, funny, quick-witted, attra-”

 

“Insufferable, compulsive, big-headed or big-haired in your case, fil-”    
  
Before he could get the word out, a fist flew into his jaw. Draco hadn’t been expecting her to throw a punch, near a healers office especially. He was angry. This was the second time she’d punched him in the face and he wasn’t about the let her get away with it this time. She tried to push past him, but he was stronger and pushed back. Tears were threatening to escape as he held her firm.    
  
Granger had stopped pushing him though and lowered herself to the ground putting her hands around her shins and her head on knees as she began to cry. Draco stood there looking around. He hated seeing a woman cry. Especially, after all, he’d seen. Without a second thought, he walked to the tea room and made her a cup of Camomile tea. Walking back he sat down next to Granger and pushed the tea into her lap, trying to avoid her puzzled look.    
  
“Mum cried a lot after the Dark Lord returned. She always made me bring her tea. Don’t think anything of it.” He said as he stood and walked into Estella’s office.    
  
Sitting down on the couch, he dropped his head back and sighed.    
  
“Good afternoon Mr. Malfoy. Did you want to continue where we left off?”    
  
“If we must.” 

 

“Well, we left off talking about Ms. Granger. The muggle-born you’re not sure your feelings of.”    
  
“What do you mean I’m not sure? Of course, I’m sure. She’s a swot. A know-it-all. A right pain in my arse!” He argued. 

  
“Right, and you think this because?”    
  
“She - she - Granger grew up with muggles, how is it her magic reflects that of my own, if not greater? How is it she is all things good, and I am evil? I grew up in a Pure-blood house. I grew up knowing what magic was. I grew up using magic. She comes in at the age of eleven and just bests me at everything. Always had her hand in the air. Then she beats a bloody troll in the bathroom and the whole school is all about this new famous trio that took on a troll! Bloody stupid if you ask me.” 

 

“I think deep down you know the answers to these questions Mr. Malfoy. You are a smart man. Maybe you need to think outside the box a bit. Hmm?”    
  
Rolling his eyes, he really wanted to get off the topic of Granger now. “I had an awful nightmare last night. I wrote it down. I also wrote what had happened before that I believe caused the nightmare.” He said as he put his head back on the back of the couch.    
  
“Perfect Mr. Malfoy. What do you believe caused your nightmare, and what was your nightmare about?”    
  
Draco recalled the night and then told her the basis on his nightmare. He wasn’t sure how much she’d be able to handle given the details. Estella just nodded until he was finished. Usually, she was good at controlling her emotions, though it seems today, she wasn’t. He avoided her stare as he finished telling her what she needed to know.    
  
“I see. Have you attempted the mastery dreaming we spoke of when we first met?”    
  
“No. I didn’t see the point. How are any of these nightmares going to end happily? I’ve come out the other side and they won the war. I didn’t go to Azkaban thanks to Potter’s testify. Honestly, I’m living just about the happiest outcome I can imagine.    
  
“It’s not about a happy ending, though that does help. It’s about recreating the dream to end with a positive outcome.”   
  
“My positive outcome came true. The bastard who implanted these nightmares in my head is dead Estella. Don’t you get that? It’s like a curse having to relive everything I saw, knowing I’m alive and well. Knowing I made it out, but so many people didn’t. It’s a curse that I survived when I knowingly should not have. I should be dead. To change my dreams would put me in any of their positions. Including Grangers. Knowing she was carved on my drawing room floor. Watching the blood trickle from her arm. You will never know what that’s like Estella. You will never experience the horrors I’ve seen with my own eyes. You can hear about it, oh yes. But you can’t feel it. You can’t sense the terror. You weren’t at the battle.” Draco finished yelling the last few sentences. 

 

Estella stood and came to sit next to Draco on the couch and grabbing his hand, “Mr. Malfoy, you are certainly correct. I wasn’t there. In order to become the healer I am for you today, I had to watch memories of the battle. Memories of traumatic events. So while I have never personally experienced the horrors all of you children have, I am here to help you overcome them. For you, for Ms. Granger, and any of my other clients who would like help.” Draco raised an eyebrow at her, “Or those who were forced by court order.” She laughed. “I think we should look at a different approach. I’d like to start what is called the Emotional Cascade Model. It is a five-step process. The reason I believe your nightmares aren’t going away is that of all the negative experiences you have during the day. For example, seeing Ms. Granger, you see this as a negative experience and think about it all day and what happened to her at your home. Then you have a nightmare about it. This process is called rumination, which is where you keep the pain of those experiences fresh. The second process is what is known as catastrophizing. This is where you imagine worst-case scenarios, thus making it harder. I don’t believe you’ve admitted any of those to me thus far, but keep that in mind.”    
  
Draco was filled with so much information. He felt like he was already back at school and should be taking notes. “Get to the point already.”    
  
“Alright. The first step I’d like you to do is put your worries to rest when you put your head down. Clear your mind. Don’t think of what negative experiences you had during the day. Focus on anything positive that had happened. If something negative happened, try to put a positive spin on it. Sound good?”    
  
“I’ll try it. Though it sounds bloody barmy.”    
  
“Right then. Our session is over Mr. Malfoy, I will see you next time.”

 

* * *

  
  
That night as Draco laid his head down, he tried to think about his day. He’d had tea with his mother. She told him all about the new renovations she was planning. His meeting with Estella did help, though he’d never admit it. There are times it’s nice to reveal his secrets. Maybe not in full detail, but just the same. He thought back to his spat with Granger.    
  
He saw the tears in her eyes as he pushed her. He watched the cup come to her lips after she looked at him with confusion in her eyes.    
  
_ Right, positive twist.  _ What was positive about the day? Well, Granger had a mean right hook. He’d had to find out where she’d learned how to fight, might be a muggle thing. If he was honest with himself, he enjoyed the spats with Granger. Watching her get riled up, her shoulders standing tall. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, allowing him to view every single one.    
  
He smiled to himself as he imagined what their next meeting would be like.    
  
Draco didn’t have a nightmare that night. 


End file.
